The Ups And Downs of Being Bisexual #BiVisibilityDay

How does one* celebrate #BiVisibilityDay? This is what I've been asking myself today. And it's a bit of a conundrum because on the one hand it's supposed to be a celebration for bi** people to shout out that they exist and that they're proud of who they are. But it's also a space to speak out about the issues that affect bi people. How do we balance the two, the positives and the negatives? Do we even need to worry about balancing the two?

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So I'm settling my conundrum with a list, which I find tends to be a good solution to many problems. As my contribution to this fine day of being unashamed and honest about experiences of being bisexual, here are some positives and some negatives that spring to mind about being bisexual in a heteronormative society obsessed with binaries (and sex).

Let's get the negatives out of the way...

• That internalised biphobia that makes coming to terms with your sexuality a muuuch slower process than necessary. Turns out waiting to realise you're either straight or gay is a never ending waiting game when you're actually bi.
• Realising that some people who acknowledge and seem to accept your bisexuality are only interested in exoticising and sexualising it.
• Having to defend yourself against interrogations because your word isn't enough for some people. I once found myself at a party in which a friend debated aloud my percentage of straight and gay *sigh*, as if it was a fun party game.
• Being somewhat dismissed or brushed off when you come out because for some reason people seem to think coming out is easier for bisexual people than anyone else.

Now for the positives!

• Knowing who your true friends are. I've realised that when you have something, even if it's just a small thing, that makes you different in some way it can be a blessing in disguise for filtering out toxic people in your life.
• Being part of the LGBT+ community, which is a wonderful, welcoming and supportive space (in general) and I strive to get more involved in it.
• Getting to that point when you feel comfortable, secure and proud with your sexuality. It's a really really great feeling.

So there you have it; my by no means comprehensive overview of some of the experiences that come along with being bi. I want to emphasise that these are just my personal thoughts and feelings and that other bisexual people have very very different experiences from me. The experiences listed are also the ones that are easiest to put into words. There are other underlying feelings and incidents that are somewhat harder to express, particularly in a concise manner, and so I am saving them for another more in depth blog.

But for now, I hope I've done my bit for Bi Visibility and for myself. Happy Bi Visibility Day!

BiNet USA

*my use of 'one' as a personal pronoun I'm going to blame on seeing the new Bridget Jones film on Wednesday - it's good, watch it!

**pansexual/biromantic or however else you feel comfortable labelling yourself